I eat tim tams in my jim jams!

Hi. This is gonna be a long'un. That sounds like longan. I like them. But if I eat one too many, my nose bleeds like a bloody faucet.

I love today. The sky is blue, the sun is bright and its warmth really makes me appreciate how refreshing the breeze is. I just went for a walk and smiled a lot. Today is one of those days that I just love being alive.

Love. It's a word I don't completely understand but will continue to use every day. The concept baffles me; just how something can be so simple and still be so complicated. Some people write songs and books, some people dance, some people jet across the globe, some end their lives and others create new ones (wow, so x-rated) all because of this crazy thing called love. Freaks me out, it really does. I'm not big on risks (and as an OT in the making, I feel the need to assess and then apply the hierarchy of controls). I've let my guard down once before and the outcome was not in my favour. Naturally, the only solution I saw was to never let myself be vulnerable again. But as hard as I've been trying, keeping these walls up is proving to be rather difficult. That, and I reckon any heartache is worth the trade if it means experiencing just one moment when there's no denying that you're in love. Whatever that means.

That's about as serious as my blog will ever get, folks. Take note, this is going down in history. The next hundred or so entries will be brimming with stupidity. Just how you like it, m'dears.

Speaking of which, I note peculiar observations in the draft message folder of my phone. It looks as though I am prepared to send a whole bunch of nonsensical messages to friends about the most ridiculous things. Not far from the truth, actually.

1. Bin walking Friday breathe.
I hate walking to and from the station on garbage collection day. It's the worst when uni just so happens to be starting at a time that means I'm going to be following a garbage truck down the street. I end up doing that thing like I do with smokers, where I'll hold my breath (but try to look natural and cool) and stride as far and as fast as I can until it's safe to inhale without contracting cancer. But in this case I'm just avoiding breathing in bin gas (mmm evaporating bin juice. Sexy), which is totally on the same level as cancer. Seriously, people in my suburb should like, not eat, not use products of any sort, and not menstruate. Or something. Think about it, let's say there's 10 houses on my street. Hmm 4 people per household. Each household accumulating a week's worth of garbage. And I live around blocks of flats too. So many bins packed with lovely, festering garbage, simmering away in bin juice for a week until Friday rolls around. Only then are all the wheelie bins emptied; the lids knocked back, releasing a big green stinking cloud to engulf the whole Parramatta City Council area.


I complained about garbage for an unnecessarily long time there. Oh man, I really do talk trash! HAR HAR HAR, I kill me.

2. Tough guy inside out.
I was walking and there was this really big buff guy with an intimidating face and and body language. I was a little scared (being a young girl, alone in the evening) but this fear was quickly dispelled when I noticed his shirt was inside out. I don't think he saw me smirking. Probably not, considering my limbs are still intact and I'm not lying in a ditch.

3. Chips attack.
I was assaulted by a box of hot chips with mad taekwondo skills. As believable as that was, I'm sorry to say that it's completely untrue. Kind of came close that one time I was eating wedges and it was so hot it formed a blister on my palate and left me with a bit of skin flapping around whenever I spoke for a few hrs. Then the skin broke off. I think I swallowed it.
Anyway so I was walking by a strip of shops, minding my own business, iPod in ears, quite oblivious to my surroundings when this dude approaches from the opposite direction and suddenly halts in front of me. "Oh crap he's gonna knife me!" I thought, as Taylor Swift became background noise. I soon realised he was looking past me, over my shoulder at a packet of grainwaves. Fair enough, they're pretty good. I relaxed from my stance and continued walking. I wondered if anybody saw me tense up and raise my arms to defend myself. Oh well. Now it's too late for youuu and your white horse, to come arounddd...

4. Crossing road overcautious die.
This always happens. I'm crossing the road and I wait for a car to pass because I don't want to get run over. As I'm waiting, I realise that I should have crossed while I had the chance because the car is approaching at snails' pace. In fact, I could have crossed 40 times by now. Of course, at this point, if I were to cross, the car would be too close and I would get run over and die. It'd probably just bump me at that speed though.

5. Unfashionable Asian future.
Why are there so many fobby ladies with such poor fashion taste? I know I'm not the most chic person there is, but geez. This woman wore embroidered red pants with pockets. They might have been backwards but I couldn't tell. I don't like my outlook. I feel sorry for my future husband. He'll cheat on me and I'll kick his ass.

I used to hate it when my dad would iron my clothes because he'd always iron a crease into my flare pants.

6. P
Going for my P's next week. I'm regretting typing this sentence right now because it means that if I fail, everyone will know. And by everyone, I mean all of my two regular readers. Yeah, can't touch this, yo.